you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
