I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
