Soap is not a condiment
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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