Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Less talking, more tequila
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
