I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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