so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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