if you like me you must not know who I am
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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