I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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