At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize