I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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