it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
