Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
