i need an iv and a liver transplant
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
