His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
