I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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