remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
