Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
