i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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