I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
