How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way