so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.