i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize