; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't shave. On purpose
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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