Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
