i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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