Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
