Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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