i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
