i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
