3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My friends, they love my intelligence
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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