her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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