Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
