we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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