it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
