I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
