she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
