I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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