he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
