Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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