I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
