Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize