ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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