she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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