never play flip cup with pint glasses
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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