ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
now i know why i became what i already was.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
