That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
