You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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