you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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