um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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