Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
