There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
