super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
