I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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