I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
