No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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