JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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