my phone needs a breathalizer
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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