Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
