A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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