I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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